Hot Mess

This is a publicity shot for Lindsay Lohan’s leggings line. Unfortunately, it looks like an outtake from a yet-to-be-produced film about the life of the stripper Vince Neil married back in the ’80s. BAngieB, please come get your girl!

Hot Mess: Emmys

Aside from the wrongfulness that was Jon Cryer winning an Emmy for that horrible piece of shit, Two and a Half Men, over Neil Patrick Harris and Rainn Wilson, there were also some really bad fashions. Like Sarah Silverman’s gown–It’s like Marie Antionette’s dress mated with a David’s Bridal bridesmaid dress.

Then there’s this Obama dress. Look, I love the president just as much as the next guy, but this is taking it too far. Poor Michelle, she works so hard to be fashionable, only to have this idiot ruin her family’s good name with this fuggery.

I don’t even know why Phoebe Price was allowed at the Emmys, much less why she’s wearing this mess of an ensemble.

Hot Mess

You should know better than to ask Lady GaGa to be one of your bridesmaids–she just can’t help but upstage you!

Hot/Not Mess

OK, so I have something mean to say, and then something nice: I don’t think Rumer Willis is attractive. She’s kind of funny looking to me, especially considering how attractive her parents are. And her outfit here looks like something stolen from Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan’s wardrobe.

BUT, doesn’t she look super-pretty otherwise? I don’t know if it’s the hair or the makeup or what, but she just looks really lovely and not funny-looking at all.

Hot Mess

Wait a minute! Is that Chewbaca on her dress?

Hot Mess

I’m guessing this pattern is Fergie’s way of distracting us from noticing she’s wearing a freaking romper.

Hot Mess

I get that Lady GaGa’s schtick is to wear shocking outfits. But sweet baby Jesus, she strapped some kid’s Muppet pillow around her waist as a skirt!

Hot Mess

Knowing the one sequined glove thing is kind of played out by now, Lady GaGa finds a whole new way to pay tribute to Michael Jackson.

Happy Birthday, LiLo

Lindsay Lohan turns 23 today. And based on this recent photo, I wish her these things for her special day:

• First and foremost, I wish Lindsay a style change so that she no longer looks like a trailer park slut on vacation at Myrtle Beach.
• I wish Lindsay some stability in her life, and friends who genuinely care about her, and aren’t just in it for themselves.
• I wish Lindsay the self-esteem to realize she deserves more than this.
• I wish Lindsay the soundness of mind to return to work so that she can make the most of her acting talent.
• I wish Lindsay a weekend in the loving, motherly embrace of BAngieB, who’d certainly soothe and protect her pretty, pretty girl.

Hot Mess

See, here’s the thing: If you’re going to try an homage to Rose McGowan’s 1998 VMA look, or if you’re just trying to out-skank her, you need to go for it. ALL THE WAY. Don’t punk out with a nude body suit underneath.