Stupid Email Hall of Fame

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We all get them: stupid email forwards. Misguided (or just plain idiotic) friends, relatives and coworkers forward us stuff that promises to be “hilarious” or “amazing,” when it’s actually so damn stupid, you want to reach through the computer and strangle them for sending it to you. These emails belong in the Stupid Email Hall of Fame. This one was submitted by a reader a few weeks ago:

This will give you the chills…….
GOOD chills.

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Bible
Study.

The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord’s voice

The young man couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Does God still speak to people?’

After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message.
Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways.

It was about ten o’clock when the young man started
driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, ‘God…If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.’

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk.

He shook his head and said out loud, ‘God is that you?’ He didn’t get a reply and started on toward home.

But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn’t recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli.

‘Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.’ It didn’t seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home.

As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, ‘Turn Down that street.’

This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection.

Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street

At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh.

Half jokingly, he said out loud,

‘Okay, God, I will.’

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi- commercial area of town. It wasn’t the best but it wasn’t the worst of neighborhoods either.
The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, ‘Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.’ The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

‘Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going
to be mad and I will look stupid.’ Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, ‘Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for some thing, but if they don’t answer right away, I am out of here.’

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man’s voice yelled
out, ‘Who is it? What do you want?’ Then the door opened before the young man could get away.

The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn’t seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. ‘What is it?’

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, ‘Here, I brought this to you.’ The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway.

Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face.

The man began speaking and half crying, ‘We were just praying. We had
some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn’t have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk.’

His wife in the kitchen yelled out, ‘I ask him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?’

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man’s hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.
He knew that God still answers prayers.
THIS IS A SIMPLE TEST…. If you believe that God is alive and well, send this to at least ten people and the person that sent it to you!!!!!!!!
This is so true. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that God asks us to do that cause us, if we are obedient to what He’s asking, to be able to hear. His voice more clear than ever. Please listen, and obey ! It will bless you (and the world). Phil 4:13
This is an easy test – you score 100 or zero. It’s your choice.

If you aren’t ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus said, ‘If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.’

Not ashamed…Pass this on.

Ha, obviously the writer of this forward has no idea what gives me the “GOOD chills.” It’s quite clear this is a made up story (as there’s no attempt at using names or verifying details) to spread the message of God’s intent for people to help one another. And honestly, I’m OK with that. It’s a nice message to give to people that they should help others. Though I’m not sure about the following every strong urge we feel—I think resisting the urge to eat all the candy in your house, or grab the ass of that fine guy in your office, is probably a good idea. But I digress…

The part about this email, and many other religious emails like it, that pisses me off is the bit at the end. If you don’t forward this stupid thing to everyone you know, you’re a non-believing heathen who’s ashamed of God! And God will know! And he’ll damn you straight to hell for it! Can you imagine? I mean, if acceptance into heaven hinges on whether or not you forward emails, that kind of debases the whole concept of heaven, right? It’s just stupid.

Have you received something like this? Or does this email pale in comparison to some of the stupid crap you’ve received? If so, forward those dumb emails to bubblegumculture@gmail.com. We’ll mock and debunk (if necessary) these stupid emails every Wednesday.

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4 responses to “Stupid Email Hall of Fame

  1. Not only is this obviously up, but under no circumstances are you supposed to give a baby cow’s milk. Their tiny digestive systems can’t handle it. So unless God wanted these poor people to have a sick, dehydrated baby this email is total crap. The thought of changing those diapers does give me chills though!

  2. AGreenEyeDevil

    No one should knock on the door of a stranger after dark w/o the expectation of facing a gun and an owner willing to use said gun, at least in my corner of the world.

    If someone wants to help the poor and hungry, that’s why God invented food pantries!

  3. Love this blog I’ll be back when I have more time.

  4. I’m glad Bebehblog weighed in here, because this was not passing the smell test. Unless he happened to go to Boobies for Babies Breast Milk Corner Store, that cow’s milk would not do the baby much good.

    Also, God tells me I should say the word “boobies” as much as possible.

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