Stupid Email Hall of Fame

crash_teas2We all get them: stupid email forwards. Misguided (or just plain idiotic) friends, relatives and coworkers forward us stuff that promises to be “hilarious” or “amazing,” when it’s actually so damn stupid, you want to reach through the computer and strangle them for sending it to you. These emails belong in the Stupid Email Hall of Fame. Today’s email was sent to me by an anonymous reader, but I’ve received it myself  several times:

> Subject: citgo gas

>    IN ORLANDO LAST WEEK, AT A CITGO STATION, REGULAR GAS
> WAS PRICED AT$1.95 PER GALLON, AND NO CUSTOMERS.
>
>
>    HOWEVER, ACROSS THE STREET FUEL WAS SELLING FOR $2.05
> PER GALLON AND ALL PUMPS THERE HAD CARS WAITINGTO FUEL UP.
> What’s going on? Word is getting around!!!!! Read on:
>
>    Have you noticed how the CITGO signs have disappeared
> in the past 7-8 months? A very clever move by Chavez. But
> guess what, “CITGO” IS CHANGING ITS NAME, too….
>    This is serious, Americans,…make sure you read this
> very carefully.
>
>    NEWS FLASH:
>    Chavezis NOW getting a Russian Weapons Factory built by
> Putin. The RUSSIANS are building an AK -47 Kalashnikov
> Assault Rifle factory in Venezuela , to give armament
> support to Communist Rebel groups throughout the Americas .
>
>    Chavez NOW has IRANIANS operating his oil refineries in
> Venezuela for him. It is likely only a matter of time, if
> not already, before Chavez has Iranian built LONG RANGE
> missiles, with a variety of warhead types aimed at: Guess
> Who?
>
>    CITGO is NOW in the process of Changing Its Name to
> “PETRO EXPRESS” due to the loss of gasoline sales
> in the USA …due to the recent publicity of ownership by
> Chavez of Venezuela.
>
>    Every dollar you spend with ”CITGO” or
> “PETRO EXPRESS” gasoline will be used against you,
> your basic human rights, and your freedoms.. He will start
> wars here in the Americas that will probably be the death of
> millions.
>
>    THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT because Chavez is starting to
> feel the loss of revenue from his holdings. HE OWNS
> “CITGO”. This is a very important move that
> everyone should be aware of.
>
>    ANNOUNCED JUST RECENTLY: “CITGO”, BEING AWARE
> THAT SALES ARE DOWN DUE TO U.S. CUSTOMERS NOT WANTING TO BUY
> FROM ‘CITGO-CHAVEZ’, HAVE STARTED TO CHANGE THE NAME
> OF SOME OF THEIR STORES TO: ‘PETRO EXPRESS’. DO NOT
> BUY FROM “PETRO EXPRESS” EITHER!!! ‘PETRO
> EXPRESS’ IS ALSO 100% OWNED BY “CHAVEZ.”
>
>
>    KEEP THIS MEMO GOING SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IS
> HAPPENING.
>    BOTTOM LINE,– BOYCOTT “CITGO”
> &”PETRO EXPRESS” please!!
>
>    PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS IS PASSED ON TO EVERYONE IN YOUR
> E-MAIL LIST IN THE UNITED STATES AND OUTSIDE OF AMERICA .

Whew! Scary, huh? And also a bunch of bull. Yes, Citgo is owned by Petroleos de Venezuela, the national oil company of Venezuela. And yes, they get their oil from the country, but so do a lot of other petroleum companies in the U.S. In addition, Citgo is a formerly U.S.-owned company, still based in Houston, TX, employing thousands of American workers.

As for the bit about Petro Express, that company has nothing to do with Citgo or the Venezuelan government, and is actually owned by a company in Sanford, NC.

And finally, as much as Americans would love to believe boycotting Venezuelan petroleum will really stick it to Chavez, the fact is the country can find plenty other buyers and probably wouldn’t be affected much if at all.

Have you received something like this? Or does this email pale in comparison to some of the stupid crap you’ve received? If so, forward those dumb emails to bubblegumculture@gmail.com. We’ll mock and debunk (if necessary) these stupid emails every Wednesday.

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