We all get them: stupid email forwards. Misguided (or just plain idiotic) friends, relatives and coworkers forward us stuff that promises to be “hilarious” or “amazing,” when it’s actually so damn stupid, you want to reach through the computer and strangle them for sending it to you. These emails belong in the Stupid Email Hall of Fame. This one I received from a former coworker. It’s an oldie, so you may have seen it too:
Read this slowly – interesting to say the least.
I was born in one country, raised in another.
My father was born in another country.
I was not his only child.
He fathered several children with numerous women.
I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.
My mother died at an early age from cancer. Later in life, questions arose over my real name.
My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.
I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-
traditional beliefs & didn’t follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.
I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.
That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.
I wrote a book about my struggles growing up.
It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.
I became active in local politics in my 30’s then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate
for national office in my 40s.
They said I had a gold tongue and could talk to anyone and motivate them. That reinforced my conceit.
I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization.
Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.
I drew large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.
At first, my political campaign focused on my country’s foreign policy, then on change.
I was very critical of my country in the war and seized every opportunity to bash my country.
But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country’s economy and the need for change.
I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed & housed for free.
I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks & corporations.
I decided to start making citizens hate these institutions and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.
I called mine “A People’s Campaign” and that sounded good to people.
I was the surprise candidate.
I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics & was able to gain widespread popular support.
I knew that, if I merely offered the people ‘hope,’ together we could change our country.
So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include “persecuted minorities”.
My true views were not widely known & I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation’s leader.
I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings
and examined those people I associated with.
I’m glad they didn’t as I became the most powerful man in the world.
And the world learned the truth.
Who am I?
WHO WERE YOU THINKING OF?
Ah, the old Obama is the same as Hitler email! I thought I’d seen the last of you once the election ended. And yet, here you are again in my inbox. And just as before, you’re full of misleading and plain untrue statements. Let’s break it down:
- Hitler was born in Hungary-Austria (which, in those days, were considered one country). So was his father.
- Hitler’s father had children with Hitler’s mother, and his second wife. I wouldn’t exactly call that “numerous women.”
- Hitler’s father was abusive but didn’t abandon him. He died when Hitler was 16.
These are just a few of the inconsistencies. Not to mention that if this is attempting to reference President Obama, there are many more inconsistencies and misleading statements. Overall, it’s a sad attempt and mostly just a bunch of hogwash. But, do we really expect anything more of Republican/conservative propaganda bullshit?
Have you received something like this? Or does this email pale in comparison to some of the stupid crap you’ve received? If so, forward those dumb emails to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll mock and debunk (if necessary) these stupid emails every Wednesday.