We all get them: stupid email forwards. Misguided (or just plain idiotic) friends, relatives and coworkers forward us stuff that promises to be “hilarious” or “amazing,” when it’s actually so damn stupid, you want to reach through the computer and strangle them for sending it to you. These emails belong in the Stupid Email Hall of Fame. This week’s installment comes from everyone’s favorite: My dumbass redneck cousin. This one’s supposed to be a funny joke, but it’s just straight up racist. Probably something Miley Cyrus would enjoy:
A Chinese couple gets married – and she’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
“My darring” he says, “I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give ou anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want”.
“What chou want?” he says, trying to sound experienced and hoping to impress his virgin bride.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, “I want to try somethin I have heard about… numbaa 69”.
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries…
“You want… Chicken wiff broccori?”
Oh, ha ha ha, hilarious! NOT. What kills me about stuff like this is how white people (folks of other races may do this as well, but since I’m white, I get it from white people) will just send blatantly racist shit to others, or say racist stuff in front of people, never giving a second thought to whether or not that person might actually find it offensive. Hey, guess what? Everyone’s not a racist asshole like you!
Have you received something like this? Or does this email pale in comparison to some of the stupid crap you’ve received? If so, forward those dumb emails to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll mock and debunk (if necessary) these stupid emails every Wednesday.