Confession of a Woman Tired of Stupid Chick Flicks

confessions_of_a_shopaholicLadies, I have a problem. The problem is “chick flicks,” and how much they suck. Seriously, what is up with the latest crop of absolutely horrible looking movies aimed at women? They’re all pink and sparkly and bitchy—cause pink, sparkles and catty ‘tudes, that’s what little girls are made of! Ugh, barf. Case in point, the forthcoming Confessions of a Shopaholic:

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. First of all, can we PLEASE stop with the shoe fetishism? Look, I like a pretty pair of shoes as much as the next girl, but I’m sick and fucking tired of every movie, book and television show portraying women as a bunch of vapid, yappy loons who squeal and fight over shoes. And of course, there’s a fucking wedding scene. How can it be a movie about women if it doesn’t include at least one scene of someone getting married (at some over-priced event that’s more about vanity than love, I’m sure).

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a goodchick flick” (Can we also let that phrase die? Along with its annoying sister “chick lit?” Thanks!) now and then, but I’m just so tired of having movies insult my intelligence simply because I’m a female. So ladies, do yourselves and the rest of us a favor: Avoid this and other similar tripe and go spend your money on a movie worth watching.

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14 responses to “Confession of a Woman Tired of Stupid Chick Flicks

  1. When I want a “chick flick”, I pop in the all-time great – Steel Magnolias. End of discussion!

  2. I have to admit I actually enjoyed the Shopaholic books. They’re not great literature but they are funny and cute and sometimes I too hide my credit card bills in a drawer so I can avoid looking at them.
    But this movie looks AWFUL. Like Cosmo threw up on the pink velvet box set of SATC.

  3. I’m with AGreenEyeDevil….I hate all of the consumerism-based chick flicks and the “woe is me always a bridesmaid” chick flicks. Ugh. This movie also looks just TERRIBLE.

  4. This movie has terrible timing. Nothing against Isla Fisher, but I doubt most people will want to see this sort of thing now. If I had to guess, I’d say it won’t bomb as badly as New in Town, but it will still be a bust.

    Did you read that New Yorker article on movie marketing? It mentioned New in Town, and was pretty revealing.

    • @lalaland13: I haven’t read that, but I will. New in Town looks horrible too. There were posters for it all over in Minneapolis. You’d think the people in that region would be offended by it, honestly.

      And the timing thing! Oy! All I could think was, wow, what a horribly shitty time to release a movie about flamboyant consumerism.

  5. angiesyounglover

    i’m with you on this. and i dont get it…if she’s into high fashion, then why is she dressed kinda tacky? it’s a little on the legally blonde side…
    and i know plenty of people that are gung ho for fashion, but they know how to behave themselves.

  6. @AYL: Exactly! I mean, even on SATC, Carrie’s clothes looked high fashion. Everything she wore wasn’t pink. What’s crazy is I believe Pat Field did the clothes for this one too.

  7. I cannot tell a lie. I’ve read a few of the Shopoholic books. What can I say? It was free, and it was a long flight. I read it with the understanding that what I read was idiotic fluff. It’s stupid, hilarious, and entertaining. I will not, however, be seeing the movie. It’s not worth it.

  8. @TheMayorofBethville & bebehblog: I’ve never read any of the Shopaholic books. But have I read similar stuff? Sure. I guess the movie is more egregious to me because it and its ads get seen by a much wider audience, therefor making women look stupid on a much larger scale. The cool thing to me about books is even when you’re reading fluffy beach books, you’re still reading. You still have to use your brain, whereas with a movie, you can turn your brain off and still get the same experience with something like this.

  9. @dottyz: Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you on that one. Reading a book does not inherently require more brain-power than watching movies, other than requiring basic literacy skills. But you can zone out while reading fluff just like you can while watching fluff on the screen. Also, some movies do require one to use her brain.
    I did enjoy reading the Shopaholic books, far above others in the genre. I also believe now is the time to examine the popular beliefs that led to our economic situation, i.e. the “because I deserve it” consumerism and not necessarily because I have the dough. The main character’s approach toward credit is a mirror to many.

  10. I love how the movies you linked as “good chick flicks” aren’t really chick flicks, but satirical high-school comedies, mostly dealing with sociopathic popular girls, their sycophantic cliques and the lone female protagonist/heroine who infiltrates them and takes them down.

    I swear, sometimes, it’s like you never left the N & O.

    • @Uncle Crizzle: Ha! I know, I guess I have a type. You and I talked about Jawbreaker before, didn’t we? I think I remember that. No one else ever gets why I love that movie so much (other than the fact that my former girl-crush Rose McGowan stars).

  11. I love being able to escape from the madness of reality and be absorbed into my own “pink and sparkly and bitchy” world. Is that not the point of chick flicks and chick lit? Every once in awhile I just need a mindless, self-indulgent treat for my girly side!

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