Stupid Email Hall of Fame

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We all get them: stupid email forwards. Misguided (or just plain idiotic) friends, relatives and coworkers forward us stuff that promises to be “hilarious” or “amazing,” when it’s actually so damn stupid, you want to reach through the computer and strangle them for sending it to you. These emails belong in the Stupid Email Hall of Fame. This week’s edition (a day late–sorry guys, I got really busy at my day job yesterday!) comes from a reader who writes:

“Oh, I beg you to debunk the hell out of this one. I want to tell this person how offended I am about discovering this drivel in my inbox. I usually just sigh and delete them, but this one has me so angry I’m going to growl over it a while! You wouldn’t believe the number of email addresses I deleted to send this to you. Sic ’em!”

DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?

I SURE DIDNT TILL NOW

Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this…..

Very interesting, read until the end…..

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

‘Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

for whatsoever a man sow,

that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women

who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):

Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

‘Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about
that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):

During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):

During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:’God, that’s for you.’

He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic

After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.

With an ironic tone he said: ‘Not even God can sink it’

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)

She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: ‘I don’t need your Jesus’.

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment

Bon Scott (Singer)

The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the highway to hell’.

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)

In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend…..The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: ‘My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.’

She responded: ‘Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here…..It’s Already Full ‘

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.

The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.

In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

‘Jesus’

PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone.
So are you going to have courage to send this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said

‘If you are embarrassed about me,

I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.’

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!

I’M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes ‘8 Second Prayer.’ Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

‘Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus’ name. Amen.’

Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}.You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don’t ignore and
let God bless you.

Wow. There is just so much here. Where to begin? First of all, I love that this is supposed to be a Christian email, yet it paints God as this spiteful, vengeful force. Lovely sentiment, eh? And beyond that, most of the stuff in here is either false or taken out of context. For instance, the song Highway to Hell, which was written by not only Bon Scott, but also Angus and Malcolm Young, both of whom are still very much alive, is not about the “hell” this email implies. According to Wikipedia:

The song and album’s title supposedly came after a reporter asked bandmembers if they could describe what life was like being constantly on tour. Angus replied that it was “a fucking highway to hell,” and the name stuck. He stated in the magazine “Guitar World” that when you are out on the road on a bus sleeping with a guy’s smelly sock in your face, it’s like you’re on the highway to hell.

Also, Bon Scott died of alcohol poisoning, not choking on his own vomit.

As for Marilyn Monroe, she never met with Billy Graham and there is no record of her saying “I don’t need your Jesus.” The John Lennon quote is something taken out of context, which he later apologized for. And the Campinas story, (Which is the most ridiculous to me because if the mother was so worried about her child getting in the car with drunk people, why did she let her go?), is completely false, as there is no record of any such incident happening. You can read more info debunking this email here.

Above all else, any email that promises God will send you a miracle if you forward it to others is nothing more than an utter bullshit chain letter. I may be no minister, but I am quite certain God does not operate that way.

Have you received something like this? Or does this email pale in comparison to some of the stupid crap you’ve received? If so, forward those dumb emails to bubblegumculture@gmail.com. We’ll mock and debunk (if necessary) these stupid emails every Wednesday.

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7 responses to “Stupid Email Hall of Fame

  1. “he had been choked by his own vomit” kind of makes it sound like he vomited, the vomit puddle grew hands and choked him to death, not that he aspirated vomit.

  2. Ahh yes, reminds me of that old song we sang at church camp
    Our God is an awesome god, he reigns from heaven above
    And if you ever question him or otherwise make a remark that could be considered degrading, you’ll die a slow and painful death and go to heeelll.

    Seriously, WTF is that e-mail? Thanks for calling it out. Feel sorry for anyone who is related to anyone who sent that. I used to get those things back in the early days of the Internet, the whole “Send this and don’t be afraid of proclaiming Christ!” It’s ridiculous, but at one point, I was afraid that if I didn’t send it, I was going to be considered a bad Christian.

  3. @lalaland13: When the reader sent it to me, I was surprised I hadn’t already received it from one of my dumbass relatives. I know it’s only a matter of time though, so when I do get it, I’ll have a rebuttal ready to go!

  4. @dottyz: I think most of the relatives who would send me that don’t have my e-mail. My mom knows better, and I think she would probably have a real problem with crap like that anyway, bless her heart.

    And have you seen that “angels in the alley” one? I got to thinking of that and you inspired me to blog on it and other stupid assumptions those e-mails make.

  5. I’m a Christian, and get seriously ticked off whenever I see other Christians falling for this junk. Everybody knows and tells telemarketers to take a hike, we mostly really dislike people coming to our doors trying to get us to convert to their religion or buy something we don’t need or even want. So why people view chain letter forwards as something so great is just beyond me, especially when many of them are laden with such obvious manipulation via condescending guilt-tripping, and phony touchy-feely nonsense. “National friendship day! Share the friendship and pass on the crap!” It’s especially bad when the only time you ever hear from these people is whenever they want to send you the latest gushy “friendship” or ranting “religious” chain to infect their own inbox. “Funny how everybody passses on joke emails, but nobody wants to admit to loving God so they don’t pass on religious emails. “Bullcrap! Whoever believes that must’ve been down for the count since the net got started. I get so-called “friendship” and faked up twisted “religious/inspirational” chain letters more than any other.

    How to knock it into people’s heads that passing on this junk does not make them a better Christian or a good friend, and certainly doesn’t do a thing to brighten up my day. Then if you set them straight, they ignore you in favor of passing on dumb junk chains to other people, so obviously they know nothing about real friendship and just want ego strokes from people who aren’t as outspoken against forwards as I am.

  6. @Capri: I feel the same way. I don’t appreciate people insinuating that my faith isn’t as strong as theirs because I choose to not send junk mail to everyone on my address book. Same with the friendship ones. So annoying.

  7. Ahaha. That email is good. RIP John Lennon 😦

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