Golden Rule

According to a story on, the three remaining “Golden Girls” cast members, Bea Arthur, Betty White and Rue McClanahan, did not attend the funeral of recently departed Estelle Getty. Apparently, Getty’s son Carl spoke with “Inside Edition,” saying, “They would certainly have been welcome. I don’t know why they wouldn’t be attending mom’s funeral. Maybe it’s a painful thing…As for the rest of them you’re going to have to ask them how they felt about it and why they did or didn’t come.”

So, Inside Edition contacted the girls. Arthur said she skipped because she’d already grieved and made her peace with Getty’s illness in the past few years. McClanahan said she couldn’t travel (she lives in NYC) because of recent surgery and White was not available to comment, although she did send a flower arrangement to the funeral.

Some people might think they were assholes for not attending, but as someone who’s lost more loved ones and friends than I dare to count, I have to say “fuck off” to the naysayers. No one has the right to judge how another person grieves. I know several funerals I’d rather have skipped, but went basically to keep up appearances. And that’s dumb. If sitting in the privacy of your own home, crying or laughing or whatever, is the way you grieve/remember the life of a loved one, then that’s your business and anyone with an opinion about that needs to STFU. Period.


5 responses to “Golden Rule

  1. Yeah Perez loves to pass judgment on others for being bad people when he’s basically a terrible person. Even if I do very occasionally visit his site, as much as I hate to say that.

    Whether or not to go to a funeral is a very private thing, so yeah….buzz off, P-Hizzy.

    (Also, I’m glad you love the Olympics like me. I’m a bit bummed that Paul Hamm is dropping out, since it’s going to be even harder for the guys to get anything now. But can you imagine what the alternates are feeling right now? Wondering who it will be?)

  2. I know. I love him, he was definitely one of my favorites in the past. It’s got to be so exciting and nerve-wracking for the alternates to wait.

    But yeah, I love the Olympics. My boyfriend’s best friend’s wife (wow, that’s a mouthful!) is all hyped up too, so she and I are going to watch it together while the guys go drink beer and do guy things.

  3. AGreenEyeDevil

    Agreed, grief is a very personal matter and people should be allowed to pursue it in the timeframe and manner that suits their situation. If ever a “pass on judgement” were handed out in life, I think grief would be my first candidate.

  4. Maybe because death and mourning is a personal thing and “celebritying up” the event makes it more of a circus than a memorial. I think the girls were right to do what they felt was proper. I would never pass judgment on anyone else’s grief.

  5. I totally agree. It would’ve been a circus had they shown up. I think they were right to send flowers and let the family mourn in peace.

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